I am the KING of AMERICA! You shall all KNEEL before ME or be eaten in a GIANT PEOPLESANDWICH! You are all my faithful DENZENITES! Visit my webpage NOW to learn the truth! I have recently relocated to ChimCham! I am creating an army of GIANT MURDEROUS ROBOTS in the Antelope Valley in ChimCham! If you fail to be obedient to me, you shall be destroyed by an army of giant murderous robots, cast into the Eternal Void of Skroatucky to be constantly attacked by Super Attack Animals™ trained to Attack, or you shall be drawn, quartered, and your entrails fed to RAVENOUS MIDGETS! Mwahahahhahahaha!
UPDATED: I have returned to Tessini to mold and shape the minds of future Denzenites!
UPDATED AGAIN: I have returned from my Kingly Diplomatical Excursion to the Kingdoms of Russkaya and Shashlikastan! I have conquered them and now have all the kvas and pel'meni that I could ever dream of!